Splillage is Lickage – a freshers guide

A, hopefully, less generic guide to starting uni.

There’s many a tab article out there telling you don’t shit where you eat, the do’s and don’ts of freshers week. So instead of the same things you’ve read 100 times already, I thought I’d try to impart some wisdom from myself and others about all things sexual and relationshippy that may or may not happen when beginning the first days of some of the best times of your life.


    1. Take the free condoms 

      Thmale condomsere’s no need to be embarrassed, everyone takes them and the likelihood is that whoever is giving them out will just be glad to see that freshers are staying safe. If you don’t need the condoms, take them anyway! A flatmate will be eternally grateful that you have spares one day when they pull and realise they don’t have any in their bed side drawer.


    2. If you’re in a relationship that is about to be long distance, or worried about doing so, then read Kate’s blog post HERE

      Before going to uni I read so many freshers guides saying “you will cheat on your hometown sweetheart” or “you will break up with your Sixth Form boyfriend/girlfriend by the end of freshers week”. Sometimes these things happen, sometimes they don’t. But whether you decide to give long distance a go or not, talk to your partner about what you both need and want and be honest with each other so you can make the best decision. I’ve been long distance for nearly two years now, it really is possible to make it work.


    3. Sexpression


      A society/student-led charity, with 26 branches at different universities across the UK, that “empowers young people to make decisions about sex and relationships by running informal and comprehensive SRE in the community”  by delivering SRE in schools and youthgroups and running events and socials at universities such as Sex Week. It’s been the best thing I’ve done since starting uni, for meeting like minded people, making friends, and making change.

    4. People sleep with their flatmates, hallmates, course mates. Shit happens.

      People will find something else to talk about very quickly and you will be able to have a normal conversation with the girl from down the corridor afterwards, and you will be able to walk into that seminar room again.

    5. Lovehoney student discount. Oh, let me hear it louder for those in the back, LOVEHONEY STUDENT DISCOUNT.

      20% off for students all the time and free shipping for orders over £30. For all your sexual needs, whether you want to try new stuff out with a partner, buy a flatmate a funny birthday present (they sell penis pasta, you can thank me later), or if going to big freshers fairs isn’t something you’re feeling up to and you want some condoms which won’t set you back as far as buying them from boots will. Plus, they send your items in discreet packaging so that you don’t have to have a weird exchange with your halls officers at reception when you go to pick your parcels up.


    6. Find your nearest clinics in advance

      Search on the FPA’s website . It’ll most likely be useful for something in your time at uni: contraception – long term or emergency; free condoms – often with more choice than freshers fairs, and free lube sometimes; advice for your sex life and/or health, STI checks, and more.

    7. Buy earplugs
      ….trust me on this one.


So from all of us involved in Spaghetti Brains, congratulations on getting into uni, and as always, stay safe and stay sexy x

spillage is lickage 1

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